As a former Baltimore Police Officer, I have personally witnessed too many homicides, shootings, attempted murders, and horrific violent crimes during my time on the street. I’ve also, like all police officers across the country, helped many victims in the brutal aftermath. These experiences, which many would call overexposure, change the way you think, feel, and act. That said, this was the career I chose, and despite being exposed to the very worst of humanity, I also saw the very best along the way, sometimes within the same hour. These experiences typically involved ordinary people being thrust into extraordinary situations. As police officers, we were selected, trained, and often had one another to share the hardships, albeit traumatic by most standards. We were prepared for these lived experiences, but young people, through their digital experiences, are not.
In our interconnected digital world, our youth are increasingly exposed to the harmful effects of social media, gaming, and other online platforms. Managing social media laws and oversight is an arduous, long-term effort, so we must focus on what we can control rather than what we cannot. Returning to a core principle I taught rookie officers: “You’re going to see some things out here you never imagined possible. Remember, the violence you see is going to happen whether you are here or not. Your job is to show up as the very best version of yourself to help people through life’s most difficult times, as a professional who is both safe and trusted by everyone you encounter.” Again, focus on what you can control.
When Violence Goes Viral
We live in an age where tragedy doesn’t just happen – it’s broadcast, shared, and replayed across every screen – the velocity of violence on our kids’ screens is unrelenting. Consider three recent events that shook communities and then ricocheted across the digital world:
- In Minneapolis, during a morning Mass at Annunciation Catholic Church & School, a shooter opened fire through stained-glass windows. Two children, just 8 and 10 years old, were killed, and at least 17 others were injured before the perpetrator died by suicide. This incident occurred during the first few weeks of the 2025 school year, sparking fear among parents, students, and the broader school community nationwide.
- In Charlotte, North Carolina, Iryna Zarutska, a 23-year-old Ukrainian refugee, was stabbed to death in an unprovoked attack while riding a light rail train. The video captured of this brutal crime evoked strong emotions and has been played tens of millions of times worldwide.
- And just one day later, political commentator Charlie Kirk, who had spoken out about Zarutska’s murder, was fatally shot at a public event in Utah. His assassination circulated on social platforms before many first responders arrived. Real-time, graphic violence that young people couldn’t help but witness on their devices, over and over.
These events, tragic in their own right, became digital spectacles. Children and teens didn’t have to seek them out; the videos, headlines, commentary, and e-community conversations were pushed into feeds and group chats, often before families even had time to grieve. For young people, the question is not if they’ll see violence online, it’s when. And in my view, it changes you and them.
The Research Is Clear
The average child now spends 6 to 8 hours every day on screens for ‘entertainment’ alone, and that’s before counting schoolwork. Over this time, exposure to violence and harmful content is not the exception; I believe it’s become the norm.
- A U.S. national study of 6- to 17-year-olds found that 4+ hours of daily screen time (excluding schoolwork) is strongly associated with higher odds of anxiety, depression, ADHD, and behavioral problems, with sleep disruption playing a major role.
- A 2023 longitudinal study of adolescents showed that increases in social media use predicted higher rates of depressive symptoms a year later.
- In the UK, research found that teenagers who saw real-life violence on social media (fights, weapons, assaults) were more likely to feel unsafe in their own neighborhoods. Critically, most of this content wasn’t searched for; algorithms recommended it.
- A 2025 study of adolescents aged 12-18 found that intense gaming habits, particularly when they interrupted daily routines, were associated with more positive attitudes toward violence. Emotional regulation and frustration tolerance were crucial factors in whether these attitudes developed.
Bottom line, the digital world can amplify violence, normalize aggression, and make children feel unsafe in ways that profoundly shape their mental health and worldview. It is up to all of us to maintain healthy boundaries. So, what now?
What Parents Can Do
This is not simply a technology issue; it is a leadership issue for every parent, grandparent, guardian, and anyone who gatekeeps the digital space for our young people. Here are five action steps that can make a difference:
- Talk Early and Often
Bring up events proactively. When tragedies trend online, ask your kids what they saw and how it made them feel. Discuss the distinction between truth and rumor, while providing context. Give your children the space and grace to talk about how they are thinking, feeling, and acting. - Set Boundaries that Stick
Limit recreational screen time. Create no-screen zones (bedrooms, dinner table) and no-screen times (before bed). These simple habits reduce overexposure and improve sleep. - See What They See
Occasionally, co-view videos, co-play games, or scroll feeds together. You’ll better understand their digital reality, and they’ll know you’re credible when you talk about it. You’ll see what piques their interest, where they linger, and what content they quickly scroll by. Ask for their opinion and seek to understand. - Build Resilience in Daily Life
Encourage consistent sleep, physical activity, and offline hobbies. Emotional resilience and healthy routines act as buffers against harmful content. - Model Behavior & Values
Children learn more from what we do than what we say. Show them that you, too, set limits, avoid sensational content, and focus on healthier sources of information. Remember, young people watch your feet – words without embodiment result in lost credibility and reputational real estate.
Final Thought
As someone who has spent a lifetime helping people navigate crises, I believe this: violence witnessed online has the same potential to wound as violence witnessed in person. It can create fear, confusion, and even numbness in young minds. However, parents who lead with clarity, boundaries, and compassion can help children process what they see, protect their emotional well-being, and foster their resilience.
Leadership matters, especially at home.
The call for leadership applies in every arena. For insights on managing digital risks in the workplace, read Howard Kurman’s blog: Can an Employer Fire an Employee for Offensive Social Media Posts?
References
- CBS News, Annunciation Catholic Church & School Shooting, Minneapolis (2025).
- ABC News, Ukrainian Woman Stabbed to Death on Charlotte Train (2025).
- The Sun, Charlie Kirk’s Final Post Before Utah Shooting (2025).
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health (2023).
- JAMA Network Open, Adolescent Social Media Use and Depressive Symptoms (2023).
- Youth Endowment Fund, Teen Exposure to Real-Life Violence on Social Media (2024).
- Nature Scientific Reports, Gaming Habits, Gender, and Attitudes Toward Violence (2025).
- CDC & Kaiser Family Foundation, Youth Screen Time Statistics (2024–25).
